The season isn't the season without all of the fundamental elements that make it feel like a New Year. I am having a hard time making changes in my day to day life because the weather isn't changing at all. Where is my powder white snow that dusts the tree tops and cars on the streets where you won't see a footprint in sight?
Embracing change is a scary thing. Moving forward can be even scarier, but I have so many amazing, positive things on the horizon, that there isn't time to be sad or miss the things that I couldn't change to begin with.
People that have been missing from my life have wandered back in. I have never, ever worked as hard or as much as I am right now and it feels very rewarding. Mondays will bring kickboxing classes with my mom, pillow fighting is back in full swing (pun intended) and I am mid course, in preparation for Korea. 2012, nothing can hold me back.
Resolutions are overrated, however I will say thing: I need to throw some change into the mix so I think that I will cave this year and try to do it different. So here goes nothing ladies and gents:
-visit Scarbs more. See mum at LEAST once a week at her house and move the rest of my CRAP out of her house
-Get rid of that crap by April
-Do NOT make the same mistakes I made in 2011
The last one is clearly the most important. Those mistakes include wasting too much time on things that just aren't worth it, being around highly negative situations, don't date a co worker ever, and never, ever settle for less because 2011 seemed to be the year of slightly lowered standards. Negativity has become a very toxic thing that
I've been harboring far too greatly. It pours out through hurtful messages, in colorful language that is not what those words should be used for. I don't want to write to cause hurt and prove points by being angry, losing my cool and spewing burning, acidic words onto the people that have hurt me. Escaping those people and ideas are first and foremost on my list of self improvement. Last night, this horrible side of me emerged, pulled out by the hurt and bad people I have let myself fall in with in the past year. The amount of shame that I felt when I woke up, realizing that the bitter and angry girl that lashed out is not a person I am proud of.
Having a backbone is one thing. Being a downright shitty person is stooping to a level that I am just too good to be near. Above and beyond is where I am headed and I can't wait to get there. It is time for adventures, writing, food and more romance than I can handle. Who knew, but I really, truly am a hopeless romantic. The food, the wine, the reading and Shakespeare, movies, walks, dinner and being in love. Much more than I would like to admit. Excited about being single and exploring that in a way I used to know, with amazing new and motivated people.
There are a few new publications that I am looking forward to writing for professionally, in the very near future and I am excited to try my had at food and wine parings this year. Travels are on the horizon and I cannot express with words how happy I am to be rid of some of the burden that bred with 2011. New job, new feel, shedding old, sad skin that needs to be left behind, never to be picked at again.