New Years, Christmas and a few resolutions

The season isn't the season without all of the fundamental elements that make it feel like a New Year. I am having a hard time making changes in my day to day life because the weather isn't changing at all. Where is my powder white snow that dusts the tree tops and cars on the streets where you won't see a footprint in sight?

Embracing change is a scary thing. Moving forward can be even scarier, but I have so many amazing, positive things on the horizon, that there isn't time to be sad or miss the things that I couldn't change to begin with.

People that have been missing from my life have wandered back in. I have never, ever worked as hard or as much as I am right now and it feels very rewarding. Mondays will bring kickboxing classes with my mom, pillow fighting is back in full swing (pun intended) and I am mid course, in preparation for Korea. 2012, nothing can hold me back.

Resolutions are overrated, however I will say thing: I need to throw some change into the mix so I think that I will cave this year and try to do it different. So here goes nothing ladies and gents:

-visit Scarbs more. See mum at LEAST once a week at her house and move the rest of my CRAP out of her house
-Get rid of that crap by April
-Do NOT make the same mistakes I made in 2011

The last one is clearly the most important. Those mistakes include wasting too much time on things that just aren't worth it, being around highly negative situations, don't date a co worker ever, and never, ever settle for less because 2011 seemed to be the year of slightly lowered standards. Negativity has become a very toxic thing that
I've been harboring far too greatly. It pours out through hurtful messages, in colorful language that is not what those words should be used for. I don't want to write to cause hurt and prove points by being angry, losing my cool and spewing burning, acidic words onto the people that have hurt me. Escaping those people and ideas are first and foremost on my list of self improvement. Last night, this horrible side of me emerged, pulled out by the hurt and bad people I have let myself fall in with in the past year. The amount of shame that I felt when I woke up, realizing that the bitter and angry girl that lashed out is not a person I am proud of.

Having a backbone is one thing. Being a downright shitty person is stooping to a level that I am just too good to be near. Above and beyond is where I am headed and I can't wait to get there. It is time for adventures, writing, food and more romance than I can handle. Who knew, but I really, truly am a hopeless romantic. The food, the wine, the reading and Shakespeare, movies, walks, dinner and being in love. Much more than I would like to admit. Excited about being single and exploring that in a way I used to know, with amazing new and motivated people.

There are a few new publications that I am looking forward to writing for professionally, in the very near future and I am excited to try my had at food and wine parings this year. Travels are on the horizon and I cannot express with words how happy I am to be rid of some of the burden that bred with 2011. New job, new feel, shedding old, sad skin that needs to be left behind, never to be picked at again.

Happy Halloween

Cute kids, yummy candy, scary movies and the best company. Sober November will be hard but there are a lot of things that I expect to come out of it. October has been a small mess, with many things Im without a doubt, could have done better. November is time for me to be about me. To remind myself of how to do that, a much needed trip to Montreal was in order. It was short, but spending time with the people there that inspire me to live and go after that one thing that will make me happy was exactly the reminder I needed.

Seeing people that care about you in an unconditional way is the only thing that could have made me feel this sane. Coming home to people that care about me was also something I found myself looking forward to, even though I'm always so sad to leave Montreal behind.

I haven't quit smoking *yet, but I have nicorette in hand and a sober month ahead, so I can't see why it wouldn't be on the horizon. There are so many shite things that have been out of my control in the past month. But I look at what has come of them, like reconnecting with old friends, coming to terms with my own decision making and how it could probably use some fine-tuning, learning that I am in desperate need of figuring out myself again, and most of all what makes me happy. These things were all missing pieces in October and it's time to take them back.

So I raise my last drink for a month to a new job, old friends and remembering what makes me happy. It used to take a lot to bring me down and I don't know when it changed. Most things were nothing a good blog post couldn't shed some deep perspective on. Time to get back to that place. My dignity and self esteem need some serious lovin' tenderness but it's my own fault. I forgive me for dropping the ball, only knowing that I will get my shit together.

Keep ya posted. Wish me luck.

New and amazing blogs that I have been reading

This summer has brought the unexpected in so many levels. I have taken a break from blogging and tried journalling and sketching more. Basically going back to grassroots. When I head back to MTL in September one of my New Years Resolutions in September will be to update this bad boy with some older musings from the summer and wicked sketches I have created at work and at home.

I just thought I would share a blog with you, and start sharing more of the amazing blogs with you that I have been checking out lately.

This one is for the ladies, full of cute indie fashion and make up reviews, which I personally love.

http://the-coveted.com/blog/

This is more of a fashion magazine type, vs personal blogging.

Stay tuned for more amazing blogging to come.


Xo