Friday, May 30, 2008

This is FUCKED!!!

A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.

The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.

Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.


But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.

An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.

"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed

You bet your ass he was. That blows. Not as embarassing as tucking your skirt into your underwear at the bar you work at, then walking across the dance floor so that EVERYONE gets a great look (the underwear were hello kitty.) but almost as bad. poor sucker.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Talkin Big

Yesterday a friend told me that I talk big. I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

When I think about the meaning of "talks big" I think two things. One being that people that talk big are almost shit talkers. They talk bigger than what they are. They hype stuff up that they think will make them sound cooler then what they probably are.

This type of person also talks way too much and tends to be a "yes" person in my head. The female half of this type I generally dislike. They male half pisses me off pretty soon after.

Obviously this type is not one I am fond of, so this comparison/description of me kind of irked me. And it definitely sat on my mind for awhile.

The other thing that comes to mind is maybe someone that talks alot. Talks loud, perhaps like a stereo-typical italian man. Maybe someone that has a lot of hand gestures when they speak.

Now I am just left unsettled, because although there are probably many other ways this could be interpreted but all of my translations are of the negative type. Its weird, I am well aware that I talk alot when I am nervous.

And also that after a few drinks, I tend to say things that use language that may not be exactly the type (words) I am looking for. Which often leads to miscommunications.

Not necessarily lies but I don't think I am as clear as I could be. But duh, I have also had a few drinks.

But I was sober. And to be called someone that talks big? I'm just not sure I am ok with that. Maybe I will come up with a new hang-up in the next few days so I can talk big about something else.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

May 2-4

Today was another interesting day that held yet another conversation revolving around which city is supeior: Toronto or Montreal.

This debate is one I have yet to find an answer to. Yes, I have -416- tattooed on my lip, which anyone would view as concrete dedication to the city I grew up in.

Yet, when I open my closet hockey jerseys and assorted Montreal paraphernalia pop out. Which, ok, I get, is pretty superficial but I can honestly say I don't own one article of clothing that has TO repping on it.

The biggest thing that comes to mind is the fact that I left a guy I loved behind in TO to live in Montreal, a city that I claimed I fell in love with.

Montreal is a place that I call home. There is no doubt in my mind about that. There hasn't been since I made the move and set up shop here. But as Uni comes to an end, I find myself thinking more and more, "Where am I going to end up?"

This weekend, it is TO. I can't quite figure out why Montrealers don't celebrate May 2-4. They find any other excuse to drink, why not take advantage of this one too? Disappointment ran through my body May 2006 when I first realized that it was not going to happen that year.

So, while I may not have quite figured out whether I will choose MTL or TO I know that this weekend I will be pretty content having a beer with my bros from the hood.