A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.
Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.
But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.
An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.
"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.
"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed
You bet your ass he was. That blows. Not as embarassing as tucking your skirt into your underwear at the bar you work at, then walking across the dance floor so that EVERYONE gets a great look (the underwear were hello kitty.) but almost as bad. poor sucker.