Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

Cute kids, yummy candy, scary movies and the best company. Sober November will be hard but there are a lot of things that I expect to come out of it. October has been a small mess, with many things Im without a doubt, could have done better. November is time for me to be about me. To remind myself of how to do that, a much needed trip to Montreal was in order. It was short, but spending time with the people there that inspire me to live and go after that one thing that will make me happy was exactly the reminder I needed.

Seeing people that care about you in an unconditional way is the only thing that could have made me feel this sane. Coming home to people that care about me was also something I found myself looking forward to, even though I'm always so sad to leave Montreal behind.

I haven't quit smoking *yet, but I have nicorette in hand and a sober month ahead, so I can't see why it wouldn't be on the horizon. There are so many shite things that have been out of my control in the past month. But I look at what has come of them, like reconnecting with old friends, coming to terms with my own decision making and how it could probably use some fine-tuning, learning that I am in desperate need of figuring out myself again, and most of all what makes me happy. These things were all missing pieces in October and it's time to take them back.

So I raise my last drink for a month to a new job, old friends and remembering what makes me happy. It used to take a lot to bring me down and I don't know when it changed. Most things were nothing a good blog post couldn't shed some deep perspective on. Time to get back to that place. My dignity and self esteem need some serious lovin' tenderness but it's my own fault. I forgive me for dropping the ball, only knowing that I will get my shit together.

Keep ya posted. Wish me luck.

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