Cute shit, The New Year and other things that have happened since Christmas.

2010 started off in the communist country of Cuba, more specifically at Club Kawama, right outside of the downtown area of Veraderro.
The trip wasn't anything to sneeze at, as I got to spend a much needed amount of time with my mother and brother Eric, who has grown into quite the young man. IT has been years since I have spent more than a few hours at a time with the kid and it was very apparent that was a word I would no longer use when referring to him. Eric showed me very quickly that he is no longer a kid, but a really smart, mature ( I choke as I write this) man. Someone I was very proud of, yet very different from, by the end of the week.

The week home was a whirlwind, working at the cheese and delaying my christmas shopping as much as possible. Then, we were gone. The days home came and went by so fast;faster than usual. I figured time at home would slow down more without a boyfriend there, but it really didn't change the time at all. I still felt like I was rushing around while the clock counted down to Cuba.

We left on a Sunday afternoon, which was supposed to be a Sunday evening. Much to my dismay, while I was getting my bear claws (feet) groomed by a very nice woman, I get a phone call from mummy dearest saying, "sorry if you had anything planned or if you aren't done packing but we have to be at the airport sooner than later because I misread our departure time." Oh. Ok, sorry little woman nice enough to touch my unruly feet, I have to leave now.

The nice woman SERAN wrapped my feet, so as not to smudge my toenail polish, and off we went. Needless to say, I wasn't completely done packing and realized a few days into the trip that, with rainy weather, I was not spending the time I had hoped in my bikini and had not packed enough underwear. But, I did have my trusty harem pants, a gem found by my bestie, Christie, in Nice, France. Let me say, they do feel more...liberating without panties.

The week was pretty unmemorable in terms of events. Not because I was black out drunk, but more because everything was pretty sub par. The food was unidentifiable, the weather was nice half the time, the people were the usual resort fare (except for one or two that were weeded out as amazing by the last few days) and the NYE celebration was only exceptional because it was in Cuba and I didn't have to plan it. It was also the one and only night I got really wasted.

The best part of finally going away to a much needed beach, that was really a Cuba sand-flea farm, was the time I got to spend getting to know my brother. As it had been a few years, I realized not only did I miss out on watching him grow into a man, but also watching him become a really sweet guy that does, in fact, watch out and take care of my mom, while I am living in Montreal. Its sweet that he chooses to be at home and I got home and started wondering where I am really supposed to be.

The upcoming months have amazing, new things ahead. I think I am going to move out of my lovely apartment, in hopes of finding something new and cheap, to go with the new and not so cheap undergrad degree I have earned. The winter is proving to be be a strange one with a cold I can't seem to beat and the strangest weather global warming has brought to date. And I am trying to continue my much anticipated career as a Starbucks Barista.

The roomie is out and we have parted ways amicably. New friends have been made in 10' and some got left behind in 09' but I'm feeling pretty ok about it either way.

New years resolution: not to sleep with people who suck and not to waste anymore time on them.

Max and Mary, UP!

Lately it seems I have been straying, ever so slightly, from my usual taste of gore and horror, being drawn into these heartfelt adult cartoons. They have got me hooked; for a long time it seemed like the only way for me to deal with my own emotion was to watch something sad when my own emotion got to be too much. That way, when I cried over a sad movie, it was much easier to let go and feel a little better about, instead of feeling guilty for the tears.

Max and Mary and UP have both evoked very strange emotions, UP stirring the feeling of wanting to grow old with someone and coming to terms with maybe having a cool life partner, but more that life will go one and you can have pleasure in so many other things regardless of what that means or who that "partner" ends up being.

Sometimes it is tough being so far away from where I would like to be. But it doesn't mean that I haven't grown so far away from where I was when I first moved to Montreal. School is coming to some form of an end and a new chapter is starting. It seems cliche but maybe I will get the chance to write about something other that culture and myself and delve into the world of politics and the environment for a chance of pace(and climate). But for now, I need to make it through this week, this semester and Christmas, with Cuba as a light at the end of the tunnel shining some sunny skies onto the new year.

A lot of interesting things have happened this week, with school coming to an end. My favorite being the first snowfall, beautiful and powdery. There is something about the first fluffy snowfall that makes me want this perfect person to share the moment with, on top of a building or in an empty park with no footprints made in the fresh blanket of snow. Cold noses, warm hands and a winter kiss seems like the perfect remedy to this strange, useless feeling that I have had lately.

After the relationships, or lack there of, that I have experienced in the last year, I have learned a lot about myself, but at the same time I think I have more questions than answers. Often I am left wondering why it is that it seems people don't want to know about me or my adventures? What are they thinking in the meantime, if they are not going to bother to know me or much about me? Is it them or have I just become closed off to the point that people don't even want to bother? Maybe this new year will bring some more answers with some time spent alone, outside of school.

The end seems so far away, but as Max puts it, "I hope our sidewalks can meet one day and we can share a can of condensed milk."

Ride, Ride, Riding along.

FINAL WEEK OF CLASSES! Jesus, this has been a hard semester. When I got back from France I was SO excited to get over the SHITTINESS that Toronto exuded on my general being this summer. Blogging has been the last thing on my mind, between wasting my time on useless beings, writing for www.soundonsight.org, attempting to write for the Montreal Mirror, working and going to school has almost killed me. Oh yeah, I have a room mate now too!!!

It has been insanity. Being in France doesn't seem so long ago; the semester flew by. Luckily my summer malfunctions weren't carried on to Nice and I was able to take time for myself and my best gal buddies while I was in France. Unfortunately, because I left my problems at the door in TO, they were waiting for me when I got home. To the point, where they liked me so much they followed me to Montreal, then kicked my ass repeatedly.

Now that its december, I would like to think that I have learned my lesson. Sort of. As of this month, it is time to remind myself that it is not Douchember, so maybe keeping myself away from the dudes will work a bit better.

On the side note, school is done, I have gone on some wicked adventuring in the past few months, cooked a friggin amazing turkey named Murray and haven't been to TO since I left. its been DAMN good actually. I have also checked some super fantastic shows out, which I normally don't make time for, but have made a point of doing more.

Also checking out more good movies than you can shake a stick at, which is always fantastic in my opinion. Dressed up as Andrew WK for Halloween, which was uneventful, turned 23 and got a fab gift and birthday with my best ladies in the world.

Had some dude say "That'll do pig," after we boned... yup. You got it, that came out of his mouth. Thinking he was refrencing Zombieland? I don't know which pisses me off more, the improper reference or the comment itself. This is why its time to take a back seat from putting myself out there, because the only people interested are shitty ones it seems.



The list of "do nots" is becoming epic.

1. hockey players
2. dudes that play music
3. frat boy types

i think that is it for now, though I am sure that I will close myself off to another stereotype by the time I get back from Cuba in January. Big fun. My cousin that is the raddest dude ever is coming back from Saskatoon tonight and going to be in TO when I get back, which is fantastic and exciting because he has been gone forever and I missed him alot. That's all I got for the moment, i'm going to try and keep better tabs on this thing now that i'm DONE SCHOOL?! oh yeah, thats effing wicked too.