Send me to #60days in paradise!

It has been a pretty serious amount of time since I posted anything on here. It isn't because I haven't had much to say or that I haven't been writing. But I guess I haven't felt much like sharing. Bar life has made me a more introverted person with social media. I have deduced that it is because of the amount of time that you spend being "on" when I am in bartender mode,  and accommodating customers and crisis when I am in manager mode.

 It has been far more interesting and lucrative up until now, developing other people's brands than my own. Twitter is my preferred personal social media outlet of choice, only because I consider myself more of a wordsmith than anything. This doesn't mean I am not experienced on all other platforms, I just use them with a purpose and usually on behalf of a clients account. Probably neglectful, I know, but when a girl tries to keep up three jobs and a social life, something ends up falling by the wayside. Work has always been a fine balance of freelance writing and a more permanent gig.

 After living in Montreal for 5 years, where I went to school for Journalism at Concordia University, wrote for Vice Magazine and dove headfirst into the world of college radio, I moved home to Toronto and tried my hand at office life. I did post-production for a digital distribution website that worked in conjunction with the American MTV. It was mildly soul-crushing to be stuck in an office all day. The music industry is an interesting beast, to say the least. I love working on my computer and being challenged by the ever-changing world of technology, but that environment was not for me. There was nothing social about it. The office environment was very anti-social, and that just ain't me. It was time to go and I was ready for a finer-tuned balance of a job that allowed me to breathe and let my own personality come through.

2013 was my busiest year yet. I found a happy balance with writing, a paid social life (bar job) and a full-time job as the digital marketing manager for Blouin Art Info, a contemporary art website. It was a great balance and allowed me to take some amazing trips to Colorado for snowboarding and Trinidad for all sorts of adventures. I even found time to get involved with Toronto Underground Market and collaborate on social media strategies for larger scale events. They were a big part of my motivation to get involved with small businesses and helping them utilize social media strategies to reach a broader audience.

 Now, I pour myself into work at Parts and Labour, which has given me it's own positive set of challenges and learning experiences. There is a reason our hashtag is #killinitpnl. Work hard, play hard is the understatement. The challenge of 2014 so far, has been finding the work/life balance. It takes awareness, but making time for the little things like bike riding, being outside, going to the gym, cooking, losing myself in horror movies and of course, reading and writing, makes everything more balanced.

I do miss the thrill of connecting with an editor and audience over my work but still find great satisfaction in exploring writing longer format work with the hopes of one day publishing a novel. I have learned that life is short and it doesn't mean your passion changes, but it might take a different shape as we evolve. I would love the opportunity to use the power of social media to share the beauty of the people, food, landscape and feeling that Trinidad has to offer. It is time for a new adventure. I would lastly like to add and ensure you, I am a strong swimmer. 13+ years of synchronized swimming not only teaches you a serious amount of discipline, but a new found appreciation for nose plugs. They might look weird but man, do they make a difference!

It has been a LONG, cold winter and I am ready for a summer of island life. Get me outta here! #60days

Spring, Sprung hope.

Started a new job today. Sad to leave my old one, I have never ever felt so loved and validated as I did in that kitchen. My old job was a bad relationship, my last relationship was a bad relationship. Bigger things are finding me, slowly but surely. Well actually, not so slowly, last year blew goats. But 2012 is rolling out good. New gigs with writing, new boy that smells like banana muffins. Better isn't my concern, as much as changing things for the positive.

My heart is scared but I will fill it with work, good food and the best people that I already know. Having so met so many inspiring mentors of all aspects of life at the last place I worked has given me the guts to do things that I haven't felt capable of in so long. When you allow people to inspire you, they will. If you push it away, there will never be any room for it.

Professionally I have seen this. But I have not been able to accomplish this in a relationship with a spouse. Even my friendships have stepped up to this seemingly adult level, where people are getting married and moving forward in an abandonment free manner. No one gets left behind; it's just as simple as being on board or not. There is no resentment if you only allow for inspiration, motivation and positivity. I have a hundred hills to climb, most of them personal battles with myself and my family, but I am learning to welcome them as challenges. Learning to be better is the only way to learn. Doing things a little different is all part and parcel. Challenge Accepted!

My amazing boss Nicole has shown me how to keep my cool under pressure with so much grace. She taught me when to rush and when it is okay to slow down. I don't even think she realizes that she has taught me so much in the last five months, but I am pretty damn thankful for all of it.

Emerson, our other co worker and third musketeer, has taught when to let things go and when to put more effort into them. Everything he touches in a kitchen turns out meticulously, never over salted or too sweet. He is the same way with his emotions, where he is calculated in his values and usually bang on in assessing them. I am such a loose cannon that he has taught me patience and most of all, how to keep calm and approach each task at hand as best as I can, taking pride in each one.

Having two people that offer such life skills when I needed them most, as part of my life 5 days a week for the last 5 and half months, has changed me for the better. This new job and step forward would never have been possible with out them. I will miss working with them every day and am happy to have shared my favorite place to work with them; a kitchen!

Nightmares

Lately I have been waking up in cold sweats from having nightmares about my ex. I won't get into detail, but I have not had dreams this severe since I lived in Montreal. The kind that take over your whole day and mood. It is really indicative of everything I have been through in the past few months.

I am trying to stay on the bright side of things. I have almost mastered making macarons, my favorite dessert in the whole world. Pastry bags no longer give me anxiety when I look at them. My freelance writing is heading to a good place. I am making headway in my TESL class online, which has me keeping on top of my grammar. But there is still a hole that is starting to grow smaller, day by day. I wish I could speed it up but I hear these things take time.

I will try to keep you updated on that part of it, but this is the hardest part.